It’s 3am and I’m alone.

The day went by too fast and now I don’t know what to do.

I’m thinking about you.

I’m always thinking about you.

I couldn’t stop so I bought this whiskey but there’s never enough.

It’s these nights alone, when I have to ask why wasn’t I enough?

Did I love too much?

Did I treat you badly?

I don’t think so but with you gone I guess I’ll never know.

I miss you, what a stupid text.

I need to get some goddamn self respect.

I can’t though,

you’re all I hoped I’d find.

I’m alone here, all broke inside

How fucking pathetic.

It’s 3am and I’m alone.

What to do with all the almost people in your life

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Throughout my 21 years on this earth I’ve had a lot of temporary people. Temporary friends, temporary lovers, and in the age of use it and throw it away I know I’m not the only one to experience this.  I’ve had both short lived friendships and shorter relationships. I believe, these people are temporary for a reason. These people often teach you some kind of lesson, and help you to become a stronger person. For me they have all been huge reality checks on many different levels.  Lesson number one was that people grow apart. People change drastically as they’re growing and sometimes you grow away from someone you care about. I lost one of my closest friends in this way. She had been my best friend for years (and I thought she always would be). However as we grew older, we travled down different paths. I was starting to look towards my future more and more, with graduation quickly approaching. She instead chose to run with a different crowd.  When she broke off our friendship, I realized I still cared about and loved her, but we were no longer the girls who laughed because we had no idea what we were doing in math class.

I also haven’t had much luck on the romantic side of relationships. A lot of people I’ve talked to have been potential relationships and have made me believe they wanted that future. Usually that did not end up being the individual’s intentions. Whenever these relationships ended, I’ve often felt alone and pretty down. However these kind of people have helped teach me the true value of independence and how to love myself.  I’ve had a lot of temporary people for many reasons. Sometimes it was me that cut it off and sometimes it was them. But each one made me realize my self worth and what I truly wanted so I cannot regret any of these people. All of these interactions, good and bad, have made me who I am today. Honestly I’m pretty proud of the person I’ve become so thank you to all my temporary people for the growth and peace I’ve come to with myself. So thank you to everyone in my life who has passed by you made me who I am.

Written by LT